From birth we strive to be the example we are shown. We walk because that's what we see our parents do. We talk with the same diction and accent that our parents use. We develop interest in the same hobbies and music that they do. We even try on their shoes, walk around the house, and mimic behaviors that we see.
The more we grow, the more complex our emulation of our role models becomes. It begins to encompass morality, spirituality, and overall concept of life. A patient or giving parent doesn't have to explain to their kids how to be patient or giving, they already know. On the other hand, a parent that is abusive has already taught their children to be an abuser. All people try to "fill" the shoes of their role models by reaching the same status in society, community, and family.
So the question is, what type of shoes are your children try to fill? Are they using you as their role models or as an example of what not to be?